The shower was hot and steamy and she stood letting the water wash over her. She was nervous as always. She had done it so many times that she should be used to it by now - the nervousness a thing of the past, but it wasn't. She remembers it wasn’t always like this – she didn’t used to be so tense. How could something so simple become so significant in her life?
Slowly her fingers crept upward towards her breasts. Her breath catching as they got closer, she steadied herself and moved on. With one arm raised she used her hand to circle and feel each inch, exploring herself in intimate detail. Moving bit by bit she covered every area of skin, cupping, circling, exploring. The water, giving her skin a silkiness that allows her hands to glide smoothly over the surface of her breast, has begun to slightly cool but so intent on her exploration she doesn’t notice. First one breast, then the other… When it is finally over she releases a trembling sigh of relief, turns off the now tepid water and steps out to face the world… until the next time…
I have done routine breast exams since I had my children, my doctor was insistent that I do... it has never been a big deal for me. Then three years ago during a routine examination, I felt something that wasn't supposed to be there. Some abnormality growing inside of me. I quickly scheduled an appointment with my doctor - who upon feeling it, insisted I have a mammogram that day - there was indeed something there. For two weeks I underwent tests and exploratory surgery to discover was simply a harmless cyst. I was lucky but on a personal level something that was so routine has become something that I slightly fear now.
Women take care of your bodies, check them, know them, cherish them. Men encourage the women you love to take care of themselves, to do self-examinations, to have mammograms. Your lovers, your mothers, your sisters, your daughters.
Write with you again soon!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Talking mice, Magic Pumpkins and The Fairy Godmother that forgot the instructions
The Scene: The young beautiful woman was at the kitchen counter humming softly along with the quiet romantic music playing in the background, sleeves rolled up, rolling pin in her hand and starlight in her eyes. She is on a mission, a task of love - she is preparing the first dinner for her and her wonderful husband in their new home. This city girl turned country was determined to make it work, so hand rolled biscuits were the final order of the day. Oven pre-heating, everything else already prepared and in the refrigerator waiting to be put into the oven.
The table is set with the pristine white linens, the new china, the sparkling glasses, the bowl of flowers and the candles just waiting to be lit for the very romantic evening. Everything was perfect...
When suddenly, from the corner of her eye she caught some movement and turned her head - and there before her was a horror of all horrors! With an ear piercing scream she scrambled away as quickly as she could to get away but there was no where to run and no one to hear her screams - trapped in the middle of nowhere, completely alone. But still she had to try, the sound of breaking glass thundered through the house mixed with the screams that were soon fading into heart wrenching whimpers. She wasn't strong enough to fight and the evil dark eyes had her frozen her in her fear.
A few hours later he returned home and found what was left of her The table was strewn with broken glass and wrinkled linens - with a band a serial field mice close by...
When I was a newlywed, we lived in a 110 year old antique salt box farm house - I was a city girl and having lived in some of the major cities in the U.S., I was excited at the prospect of country life. She stood in all her grand glory so beautiful in her surroundings that you didn't notice her flaws, until her lived in her and they began to show themselves in living color. My husband really did come home and find me hovered on the kitchen table since it was my first experience with the wild. After laughing at me for a while - he helped me down and then the next day we got cats - to drive out the mice... knowing then what I know now... I would've kept the mice because I hear they can talk and clean house - (Cinderella knew her stuff!)
The important thing is to learn to laugh at your self - Life comes at you fast if you take it to serious - you are going to end up tr aped on a kitchen table until help decides to show up...
Laugh like no one's watching, Dance because you can and Love like its your last day on earth!
Writing with you soon!
The table is set with the pristine white linens, the new china, the sparkling glasses, the bowl of flowers and the candles just waiting to be lit for the very romantic evening. Everything was perfect...
When suddenly, from the corner of her eye she caught some movement and turned her head - and there before her was a horror of all horrors! With an ear piercing scream she scrambled away as quickly as she could to get away but there was no where to run and no one to hear her screams - trapped in the middle of nowhere, completely alone. But still she had to try, the sound of breaking glass thundered through the house mixed with the screams that were soon fading into heart wrenching whimpers. She wasn't strong enough to fight and the evil dark eyes had her frozen her in her fear.
A few hours later he returned home and found what was left of her The table was strewn with broken glass and wrinkled linens - with a band a serial field mice close by...
When I was a newlywed, we lived in a 110 year old antique salt box farm house - I was a city girl and having lived in some of the major cities in the U.S., I was excited at the prospect of country life. She stood in all her grand glory so beautiful in her surroundings that you didn't notice her flaws, until her lived in her and they began to show themselves in living color. My husband really did come home and find me hovered on the kitchen table since it was my first experience with the wild. After laughing at me for a while - he helped me down and then the next day we got cats - to drive out the mice... knowing then what I know now... I would've kept the mice because I hear they can talk and clean house - (Cinderella knew her stuff!)
The important thing is to learn to laugh at your self - Life comes at you fast if you take it to serious - you are going to end up tr aped on a kitchen table until help decides to show up...
Laugh like no one's watching, Dance because you can and Love like its your last day on earth!
Writing with you soon!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
His other woman is X-rated 360 days a year
Does your husband have another woman? Of course we almost always say "No, not my husband". And then we wonder, simply because someone posed the question to us... so we start questioning our intimacy, skulking about like the world famous international spies that we are, seeking clues of infidelity and we start watching for little telltale signs that might give him away. While the entire time (for most of us) she is living right under our noses in our own homes and we don't even realize it!
That's where I found her after waking up well after midnight and he wasn't in bed so I went looking for him and there I found them together in MY LIVING ROOM and he was so busy fondling her, coaxing her to do his bidding that he didn't even notice my presence. I was so shocked that I watched in silence their ritual mating of infidelity, as the pain and rejection of betrayal screamed though my mind... how did I miss this? She was no quite lover, vocal in her demands of him and if he resisted, she would go no further until he gave in to her... giving her exactly what she wanted. I was amazed at the power she held over him. I know that I should've said something, done something to stop it but I was locked into place, frozen in the astonishment that had overwhelmed me. I silently willed him to turn and see my presence to get some sort of reaction from him. But that was not to be the case, I continued to watch every moment of intimacy, every touch, every scream until the bitter end.
And at that moment spent from exhaustion he looked up and saw me. Quickly he moved away from her and I could see his mind attempting to formulate an excuse but he knew there was nothing he could say that would change the fact that he had been caught in the very act! So he reached over, touched her one last time while grinning sheepishly at me, turned off his x-box 360 and we went to bed.
If we are honest with ourselves ladies, sometimes that's what it feels like, for some of us it can be his video games for others, his "car project" and others still, a golf green. Sometimes we find ourselves getting jealous over these inanimate objects that seem so important to him. I have come to the conclusion that for the most part that is his "Me" time. But don't be afraid to invite yourselves into that part of his life - don't overwhelm him and make him crazy but just let him know that you are interested in "her" too. However, don't even FAKE interest, because you will make each other miserable! I do recommend you try it at least once. I did and his "other woman" soon became a dear friend and I play her almost as much as he does - but not his war games, I found the games that I like and it is a great way to chillax and hang out. You never know until you try!
Keep loving your husband and believing in him and yourself!
Writing with you soon!
That's where I found her after waking up well after midnight and he wasn't in bed so I went looking for him and there I found them together in MY LIVING ROOM and he was so busy fondling her, coaxing her to do his bidding that he didn't even notice my presence. I was so shocked that I watched in silence their ritual mating of infidelity, as the pain and rejection of betrayal screamed though my mind... how did I miss this? She was no quite lover, vocal in her demands of him and if he resisted, she would go no further until he gave in to her... giving her exactly what she wanted. I was amazed at the power she held over him. I know that I should've said something, done something to stop it but I was locked into place, frozen in the astonishment that had overwhelmed me. I silently willed him to turn and see my presence to get some sort of reaction from him. But that was not to be the case, I continued to watch every moment of intimacy, every touch, every scream until the bitter end.
And at that moment spent from exhaustion he looked up and saw me. Quickly he moved away from her and I could see his mind attempting to formulate an excuse but he knew there was nothing he could say that would change the fact that he had been caught in the very act! So he reached over, touched her one last time while grinning sheepishly at me, turned off his x-box 360 and we went to bed.
If we are honest with ourselves ladies, sometimes that's what it feels like, for some of us it can be his video games for others, his "car project" and others still, a golf green. Sometimes we find ourselves getting jealous over these inanimate objects that seem so important to him. I have come to the conclusion that for the most part that is his "Me" time. But don't be afraid to invite yourselves into that part of his life - don't overwhelm him and make him crazy but just let him know that you are interested in "her" too. However, don't even FAKE interest, because you will make each other miserable! I do recommend you try it at least once. I did and his "other woman" soon became a dear friend and I play her almost as much as he does - but not his war games, I found the games that I like and it is a great way to chillax and hang out. You never know until you try!
Keep loving your husband and believing in him and yourself!
Writing with you soon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
